Thursday, May 25, 2006

Poor Bob Dutton

Bob Dutton covers the Royals. Maybe this is his public service for a heinous crime. Whatever the reason, I hope he gets a breather sometime this year. Covering the Royals this year might be a bit like covering the White House -- no real news coming out of either and winning percentage/approval ratings in the shit. But you have to write with verve, try to find a new way to tell the same story.

Here's a look at Poor Bob's work:

Tigers 8, Royals 0
Bob, what've you got to say:
"The answer, maybe, is for the Royals to call more of these players-only, pregame get-togethers. Alcoholics Anonymous, after all, works on a 12-step program. So what could the Royals — Royals Anonymous? — really expect from just one clear-the-air meeting?

"More than this, probably.

"The Detroit Tigers sent the Royals to a 10th straight loss Monday night by delivering an 8-0 thrashing in the opener to a four-game series at Kauffman Stadium."

Tigers 8, Royals 5
Bob's getting pissed:

"It’s 11 straight losses and counting now for the Royals after blowing a four-run lead Tuesday night and wasting a four-homer attack in a miserable 8-5 giveaway to the Detroit Tigers at Kauffman Stadium."

No art to this one, just an urge to throw-up.

Then, last night.

Tigers 6, Royals 3
This is getting hard, isn't it Bob:

"The solstice is still roughly four weeks away. So what? The Royals are operating on their own calendar and, already, it’s been one seemingly endless summer.

"Wednesday brought no relief at Kauffman Stadium. The Royals suffered their 12th straight loss in falling 6-3 to the Detroit Tigers. That matches the second-longest skid in club history.

"The countdown is on."

Bob seems to be hoping for the record now. He wants 20 straight. At least, he seems to be saying, there'll be something for us to count towards.

Poor Bob.


Anonymous notrivers said...

By this point in the season (May, mind you), I sadly had already moved on to seeing if the KU Jayhawks were scouting any top high school basketball talent for 2008...
Attempted Royals Fan

10:58 AM  

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